Therapy can be about more than learning tools & skills to feel better. It can be about developing the capacity for the meaningful life that you've been after.
Meet Gabe
Most people reading this are probably asking themselves some version of: “Who is this guy, and do I want to work with him as my therapist?” Underneath that might be questions like, “Do I trust him? Does he seem credible? Can he help me? Can I relate to him, and can he relate to me?”
I can’t answer all of that for you in a couple paragraphs, but I can share enough to give you a clearer sense of who I am and whether we might be a good fit. I also want to be upfront that I’m not the best therapist for everyone, and not everyone will be the best client for me.
Why I do this work
I came to therapy in (roughly) midlife. I started my career as a lawyer, and I practiced law for about 25 years. People often ask why I would switch from being a lawyer to being a therapist, which is a fair question.
The best answer I can give is that practicing law never felt like the right fit for me. I felt called to help people in a different way.
Over time, through a lot of searching and experimenting, I found that therapy was the vocational fit I had been looking for. This work has stretched me more than I expected, and I’ve loved it.
What I’ve discovered through doing this work is a deep faith in the goodness inherent in each person, a goodness people can lose connection with as they navigate the challenges of life. It’s a privilege to accompany others through their lives, dilemmas, and possibilities. I’m passionate about helping people go deeper into themselves to heal, develop wisdom, and find meaning by reconnecting with that core part of themselves and life.
A bit about me outside the therapy room
I have a family: a wife of almost 30 years and five kids, most of whom are adults now. I’m grateful for these relationships and for the challenge and adventure of learning how to build a life where each of us can thrive.
I enjoy physical activity and spending time in the gym. I also have a lifelong passion for racing dirt bikes, which I’ve never been able to fully explain other than that it feeds my soul. I love hiking, the outdoors, and the beauty of the natural world.
I value both my spiritual life and my intellectual life. I love learning. And even though I consider myself an introvert, I deeply value friendship and human connection, and I’m grateful for the people in my life.
I also love humor. I believe abundant and regular laughter is an essential part of life.
“For the simplicity on this side of complexity, I wouldn't give you a fig. But for the simplicity on the other side of complexity, for that I would give you anything I have.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes
My Philosophy on Life
In addition to biographical information, I thought it might be helpful to offer a peek into how I view life, especially as it informs how I perceive and approach therapy.
What are the key themes in my philosophy of life?
My personal values center around interconnectivity, which focuses on my relationships with and connection to other people and the natural world.
Closely related is a theme of complexity. I view people, myself and the world as elements of complex, evolving, adaptive, interconnected systems. I see life and reality operating in terms of paradox and polarities and the fundamental, irresolvable, irreducible tradeoffs they entail.
Interconnectivity and complexity tie into my appreciation for context. Lawyers get a hard time for responding, “It depends” to seemingly simple questions. But the most important questions in life tend to depend on the context, and being able to sense that context and its implications is essential for wisdom.
A theme that emerges more subtly is curiosity and a sense of wonder. Human beings are such a mystery, and it‘s fascinating to consider who and what we are and how we work. It’s humbling to consider life and reality and get a tiny glimpse of how little we actually know.
All of this ties into a foundational theme of meaning. Broadly put, my first priority is to lead a meaningful life. I derive and experience meaning primarily in my relationships and interactions. I see meaning as closely related to interconnectivity. Meaning tends to show up when people experience deep connection to salient aspects of reality beyond themselves.
I believe that leading a meaningful life comes from our mode of engaging with and participating in the world in all its complexity and paradox. On the more receptive side, engagement and participation involve curiosity, wonder and awe. On the more active side, we bring forth and express ourselves in our uniqueness.
Interconnectivity Complexity Context Curiosity Meaning
People are a mystery. I see people as finite beings who are also capable of and have a pull towards great depth and great transcendence. I believe that people have a core of positive potential (we might call it divinity).
I also believe that we all possess the other pole—shadow and a capability for darkness under the right circumstances.
I don’t see this as a defect. It’s simply an aspect of reality and of our humanity.
My Philosophy on Therapy
How your therapist sees and understands therapy matters. It shapes what they notice, what they prioritize, what they believe is possible, and what they consider a meaningful goal.
A good friend once told me there are many different ways for life to be hard. I’ve found that to be true. I’ve also seen, again and again, that change is possible. Therapy can help people develop greater wisdom about how to live, find more meaning, foster growth and new capacities, relieve suffering, and open up the possibility that life can be different and better.
I've noticed that a lot of people focus on methodology when choosing a therapist. "Does this person use CBT, ACT, EMDR, IFS, and so on?" While that matters, and I share some of that information below, it’s only part of the story.
It’s also common for therapy to focus heavily on disorders, symptoms, and tools to manage symptoms. Some therapists are deeply rooted in the medical model, and some follow it more reluctantly. I’m not the biggest fan of the medical model. I think it has a place, but I also believe it can miss something important. I approach therapy as an endeavor of healing, change, and growth, aimed at developing wisdom and creating a life with more meaning.
A bit about my approach
I take an integrative, depth-oriented approach to therapy. That means I’m less interested in forcing every person into one model or one method, and more interested in understanding what you actually need and what will be most helpful for you.
My work is primarily informed by mindfulness and somatic approaches, parts work (IFS), existential therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and the Neuroaffective Relational Model (NARM). I don’t see these as competing frameworks. I see them as tools that can support different people in different ways, depending on what they’re facing and what they’re hoping to change.
I believe therapy works best when it’s collaborative. We’ll work together to clarify what matters most to you, what you value, where you feel stuck, and what kind of change you’re looking for. From there, we’ll shape the process in a way that supports real growth, not just short-term relief.
Ultimately, my goal is to help you reconnect with yourself, develop greater wisdom about how to live, and move toward a life with more meaning.
What's the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching?
I see therapy and coaching as existing on a continuum. In some cases, the difference is clear. In other cases, there’s meaningful overlap, and I think there’s often more overlap than many practitioners and professional organizations like to admit. Some therapy can look a lot like coaching, and some coaching can look a lot like therapy.
Officially (and legally), therapy involves the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health disorders. Coaching is often defined as a collaborative, future-oriented process focused on growth, action, and moving toward specific goals.
In practice, though, the distinction isn’t always clean. Healing and working through emotional pain is growth. And coaching, even when it’s future-focused, often brings people face-to-face with deeper obstacles like fear, limiting beliefs, old patterns, and emotional pain.
The most useful distinction, in my view, is this: therapy is generally focused on addressing challenges in the psyche to help someone return to a healthy level of functioning, while coaching is generally focused on helping someone who is already functioning well move forward into meaningful growth and change.